I'm a father!
Peter Michael McAdam was born Saturday the 15th of February, at 10:15 pm. He weighed 9 lbs, 8 oz. He took immediately to breastfeeding, and is quite healthy despite being delivered by emergency C-section. He and mommy are doing quite well!
We had Marci induced Saturday at around 5 pm, and after 2 hours of observation they let us go out to dinner. Well, we didn't even finish the before-dinner drink before Marci had to be taken home, complaining of cramps. As soon as we got home, her water broke-- and so we went to the hospital, where after 10 minutes of checking her over rushed her to the operating theatre for the emergency c-section.
I watched behind glass in an observation booth, and was allowed in just in time for Peter to be born, happy as a clam though a little dry-skinned (he was overdue, after all) and held Marci's hand while they stitched her back up. (I also got a gooooood look at her insides; it was neat! Especially because she was anesthetized and really couldn't feel anything. :) The two new Grandmas, my mom and Marci's, arrived shortly after the blessed event and were there for pictures and a first cuddle with Peter.
I've already christened him "Monkeyface."
Marci had to stay in Hospital for three days, but is home now with Peter, and both are doing fine.
My GOD, I'm someone's DAD. And that's gotta be the fastest delivery I've ever heard of.
I'll warn you all now-- I'm NOT one of those "baby-geeks" whose whole life and blog will now revolve around my wee bairn and his every hiccup and bowel movement. This will be the last "baby-oriented" update on the M Files until something significant and worth my attention comes along-- as far as I'm concerned, it's just life as usual now. If I feel the need to rant, well--
--you know where to come to listen.
Peter after his ritual piercings, Day 3.
(Just kidding. For the REAL baby pictures, you can download them at http://www.twogargs.com/peter/Peter.zip ) Enjoy!
Posted by Agent M at February 19, 2003 01:53 PMCongratulations!
Now we just have to wait a few years until the child can talk... and then tell him *all* about his daddy, Tempest.
>;-)
Posted by: Rook on February 19, 2003 03:53 PMMAN FOUND DEAD AT HOME (Herald)
Joel Palenychka, a resident of SW Calgary, was found dead in the basement of his home early this morning: His tongue had been ripped out.
Scattered about the body were photographs of Mr. Palenychka with an unidentified man wearing various outfits including spandex shorts, half-shirts and what appears to be a WWII German Colonel's uniform. In one photo, this unknown man appears to be jumping up and down on Palenychka's groin as he lay in a hotel room.
Phil Bacon, a contemporary of Palenychka, said that this murder could only have been the work of homicidal boy scouts. Bacon, who works on Stephen Avenue pretending to be a game show host, is considered an unreliable witness by the Calgary police service but an excellent provider of sugar and caffeine.
If anyone has any information on the grisly murder of famed Road Trip King Joel Palenychka, they are asked to come forward at once.
--Timothy Past, Calgary Herald Correspondent
Posted by: Agent M on February 19, 2003 04:03 PMBaby Tempest!!!!!
That's okay Michael. Where Joel leaves off due to a tragic death I will take over. In fact I'm sure that I have some photos lying around. And the great thing is that you don't know where I live!!!!
Posted by: julie on February 20, 2003 08:29 PMHowever, since I'm originally from New Brunswick I have spies all over the Maritimes, even in Moncton. Beware anyone with the last name of LeBlanc or Mazeroll.
Be Seeing You.
M
Posted by: Agent M on February 21, 2003 12:17 AMFortunately, I have the videotapes. And I've made copies. And I've put them in a safety-deposit box, with a note stating that if I should meet an untimely end, these tapes should be given to Peter M. McAdam, AFTER a certain age. (After all, we wouldn't want to traumatize the lad TOO early. Tea For Two anyone?)
:D
A-ACK
PS - Congrats to the McAdam family!!! :D
Posted by: Agent ACK on February 21, 2003 10:17 AMHey Michael,
I've been getting news second hand until now and secretely have been wishing you the best although I never bloody well see you.
Glad to see we won't be hearing about the bowel movements though.
Congrats Michael and Marci.
Tell Peter to give you hell for me. If I increase the amount of spoiled brats who torment their parents, I don't need to feel so bad about my childhood. ;)
Shonna
Posted by: Sraointe Aingeal on February 22, 2003 12:52 PMCongratulations Michael and Marci!
It's nice to finally have someone else from Calgary join the parent-hood. :)
If you need anything, send me a note.
*Shakes her head* 9lbs 8oz....damn, what have you been feeding that kid? ;)
Posted by: Krista on February 22, 2003 07:31 PMFun With Babies
- or -
How To Warp Minds Both Young And Old
Went to see The Night That Paddy Murphy Died tonight with the Bruce, and after the show, we talked with Agent M and Agent T (who both act in it). As it happens, The Bruce and I got comp tickets because the show was nearly empty of anyone with a sense of humour.
Me: If you were trying to fill the house, where’s
Agent M2?
Agent M: It’s too smoky here for Peter.
Me: I didn’t mean bring Peter along - just leave him at home.
He can’t even roll over, so it’s not like he’s going to get
into any trouble.
To his credit, M knew right away that I was kidding. This segues into my usual advice for cranky children that won’t fall asleep:
Me: It’s great if you have a gas oven, you can just turn the gas on and stick their head into it until they start to nod off.
Random Parent: Ohmigod - that’s the most horrible thing I’ve
ever heard!
Me (feigning shock): You don’t leave them in there - it’s only just till they nod off.
Because people put such a high value on protecting children, it can be funny to play with those expectations for humorous effect. Warning, don’t dangle the kids out a hotel balcony or anything - verbal fun should be the limit.
Most of these gags I’ve pulled with K, the daughter of my friends G (daddy) and L (mommy) - I figure it’s OK because G started it.
Some weeks after K was born, G would walk into the supermarket where his wife L worked. Naturally, L had many friends among her coworkers - all of whom wanted their baby fix.
Coworkers: Where’s K?
G: I left her in the car.
Coworkers: What?!?
G: It’s OK - I locked the door.
K was of course safely in the hands of the baby-sitter.
Other more obvious over the top excuses for G’s lack of baby K: "I sold her to some guy in the parking lot", "I just put her down [looks around] - Um, where did she go".
The amusement factor increased when K got a little older and started absorbing language.
Me (holding K): Cthulhu - go on K, you can say it- Kaa-thool-oo.
G: HEY - what are you doing teaching my daughter the names of the great old ones!
Me: Do you want her to learn about the mythos the way you and I did - in the gutter - or do you want her to learn it in a supportive environment, surrounded by her friends and family?
G: ...Um, since you put it that way...
A few weeks later, G and I were just hanging out, when K crawled up on to the couch where I was sitting. She grabbed one of the books beside me (the Call of Cthulhu RPG rules by an odd coincidence). She sat in my lap and handed me the book.
K: Story?
Me (opening book): One day Cthulhu went over to his friend Hastur’s house. Hastur, Hastur, Hastur, said Cthulhu, won’t you come outside to play with me...
The story went on in that little-bunny-foo-foo vein, with only the names changed to blasphemous horrors beyond mortal ken.
Later, when K grew tired of the story we played "name the creature" with the pictures in the book.
Don’t be alarmed - there is a section of "normal" animals in it so she mostly named cats and dogs and bears.
Interestingly, everything with a tentacle or scales was a "dragon". Pretty good recognition for a (then) two year old.
The next day, I heard from L.
L: Were you reading my daughter stories with Cthulhu and Hastur in them?
Me: Do you want her to learn about the mythos the way you and I did - in the gutter -...
Telling this story to Agent M, I was warned: "Don’t even mention the mythos around M2" he said, in the same tone as one who says "Don’t get between a mama bear and her cub". Duly noted.
Over the years, it’s become a sort of game of suggesting the most outrageous things as a way of showing what NOT to do.
G: What do you think I should get K for her birthday?
Me: A carton of cigarettes and a bottle of Jack Daniels?
Many times, I have NOTHING to do with it (whatever "it" is that week):
L: What have you been teaching our daughter?
G: Huh?
L: K, tell daddy what you are.
K (enthusiastically): A princess!
G: What’s wrong with that?
L: What are you a princess of?
K (even more enthusiastically): I'm a princess of evil!
Lately, she’s been going around kindergarten convincing all of her friends that girls are all vampires and boys are all mummies (presumably because vampires are cool and mummies are lame). I expect social services to be calling soon.
As an aside, I know a family in Vancouver that have been teaching their daughter that the cat’s name is Hasheem, because they don’t want her saying Hash (the cat’s actual name) around the wrong people.
I think it’s a little silly because a) it’s plainly obvious that they don’t toke up in front of the kid (if they toke up at all - I’ve certainly never seen them do it, or even hint at it) and b) Hash is the mellowest cat in existence - When he meows at you, you can tell on a deep, near psychic level that what he’s saying is "Duuude". Clearly, it came by the name honestly.
L is not guilt free in this regard either - she dressed up K in an adorable little black Goth outfit when she was still a baby.
Clearly, K’s parents are both freaks. I imagine her rebelling when she’s a teenager in the only way that will get a rise out of her folks:
16-year old K: I’m going to the Dwight Yoakam concert and you can’t stop me.
K is not the only warped kiddy I’ve known. I knew another woman with a son and a daughter. She wanted to take the kids out to Vancouver during Christmas one year so they could have their pictures taken on Santa’s knee. Why Vancouver? The Santa was a drag queen at a fetish-wear shop on Granville.
Another woman, when taking a class in photography, was given an assignment to compose a photo where one part of the scene was a non-sequitur to the rest of the scene. For example, a bouquet of flowers on top of pile of used auto parts. Her entry? She took a roasting pan, filled it with sliced potatoes and vegetables, sat it on the open door of her oven, and put her infant son inside the pan. The kid had a big damn grin on his face in the photo I saw.
Obviously the kid got the joke - hopefully everyone else did too. That or Anne Geddes is going to put a lot of kids in therapy.
Am I unsafe around children? Of course not. I generally go into what I think of as "uncle mode" when out with K. This means always keeping at least half an eye on her, holding her hand in parking lots, and always taking the outside part of the sidewalk. Really, it’s just the human version of being a Border Collie. And "uncle mode" is about 1/100 less intense than "parent mode".
Since K is five years old now, I only worry about it when we’re outside. When she was younger, you had to keep a close eye on her at all times: There was a time you had to keep her from chewing on extension cords.
I hope I’ve covered my ass sufficiently. If I haven’t, I’ll never be able to visit Agent M again. Of course, keeping my big mouth shut about all this would be the best idea. Damn, it’s too late.
No no. Any permanent damage they suffer is usually just psychological. - Cowboy Wally
Posted by: Quixote on February 23, 2003 02:13 AMWell I don't know about anyone else... but *I* am frightened. And laughing my arse off. ;)
Agent ACK
Posted by: Agent ACK on February 24, 2003 10:19 AMOh Frabjuousy Day! Hallou! hallay!
:> Congratulations Michael and Marci!
When can I come over and oh and ah, and bat my eyes pleadingly at my poor husband because little Peter makes me want to have another? :>
Posted by: Brandi! on March 1, 2003 01:21 AMOh, and,
You only *THINK* you'll not be a baby geek. Bwhahahahahaha....Ah, the horror you'll feel about yourself next year. I didn't think I'd be a "cute-dresses-and-bonnets" gal either. Ah, too find out how much you don't know about yourself. The learning curve! The chance to laugh at one of your friends later when they say something like this and you know how big the brick coming for their head is!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Posted by: Brandi! Again! on March 1, 2003 01:25 AMWell hey, man, it's about time. Marci's musta been pregnant for what? Months now? Dag, yo.
-RTDN
Posted by: rootdown on March 1, 2003 11:36 PMWell, Damn! Congratulations, finally. Now that I am over the Dreaded Lurgi I may finally get over there and see the little Agent Pee. I need baby fix!
Seriously though, how has it been going? Getting enough sleep? Is the little guy sleeping through the night?
Did I email my congratulations? Since the Beccabear(TM) came along, I have no idea what I've written or when. What in the name of all that is holy (or unholy, your preference, really) have you done with poor M2 that you can afford time to update your blog?
For shaaaaaaaaaaaame, Agent M, for shame!
BG
p.s. 6 heavy-wet diapers a day suggests she's not getting dehydrated!!! Yay!!!
:-Þ
Posted by: BG on March 10, 2003 01:19 PM>6 heavy-wet diapers a day suggests she's not
>getting dehydrated!!! Yay!!!
*erk*
>I may finally get over there and see the little
>Agent Pee.
That's it.
*HARF*
Okay... I'm done. Even if it was an unintended double-meaning... ;)
ACK!
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Posted by: slot on January 29, 2004 10:13 AM