I WAS going to title this piece "Adventures in Sociology: FANS." It was going to be an attempt to study the group behaviour (which is what Sociology is) of sci-fi fans in order to determine whether certain types of mannerisms really were endemic to this particular subculture, or whether I was missing some key elements in my observations.
Then I thought, screw it. All I REALLY want to do is talk about what pisses me off.
WHY are so many fan-types (and for those of you that AREN'T, I'll just explain that "fans" are those Comic Book Guys, Star Trekkies, Star Warsians, and other denizens of geekdom for whom their particular interests have a paramount influence on their lives.) so goddamn UNTIDY?
PIGS isn't too harsh a term to use. It just seems like there's a switch in their brains that never got thrown, a connection that was never made...or maybe by some odd PSYCHOSOMATIC GENETICS they just evolved into total, utter slobs.
Because I myself am a fangeek, I've had many opportunities to visit the dwelling places of fellow geeks for social occasions (Yes! Yes! We DO have them!) and the vast majority of the time, these abodes have been anywhere from cluttered to downright FILTHY.
God, why would you invite someone over to your HOUSE when your kitchen counter space is so clogged with dishes you can't even see the counter? I mean, do these people not HAVE a gross-out factor?
I'm not what I would call "über-neat." Sure, I don't do the dishes every night. Sometimes I wait til the next day.
And although I have a six-month old baby, I don't actually pick up his toys every time he's finished with them. Sometimes, I actually let them sit right where they are. Horrors.
But when I go over to someone's place, and they have clothes strewn all over the living room floor and what I CAN see of the floor looks like someone emptied a bag of Doritos over it and crushed them all to dust, then I have issues.
Listen up, pigs. Have some goddamn PRIDE. I don't care if you can hand-stitch an entire shirt of chain mail or make your own authentic seventeenth-century pannier dresses or whatever the hell else. You wanna impress me? Pick up a VACUUM CLEANER.
WHY is it that sci-fi people have to live in such squalor? Do you people not NOTICE your houses are, not to put too fine a point on it, a DISGRACE? Were you not taught by your parents to clean your room? Was it not part of your household chores while growing up to help wash dishes and put them away?
What the hell is this problem? WHY is it a problem?
Don't get me wrong. My house gets "rubby" too. And no, I don't exactly dust all the cabinets every week, either. But let me just share a few tips with those of you out there that seem to be missing the point:
1) If you've got pets with fur, vacuum once a week MINIMUM. I don't care if your legs are broken-- switch on that machine and CRAWL along with it. And if that pet is a cat or other litter-leaving animal, clean that litterbox EVERY DAY, or every TWO DAYS maximum. If you have more than one cat/hamster/whatever, EVERY DAY. This isn't negotiable.
2) If you've got roommates, tell them to clean up after themselves. When four or five people start living in the same house, the entropy escalates. EVERYONE has to do their little parts.
3) THE KITCHEN MUST BE CLEANED after every frickin' meal. If the dishwasher's full, turn it on. If the dishes are clean, EMPTY it and put them away. If you can't do that (and let's face it, I'm lazy there too) then at LEAST rinse your dishes and scrape them clean so that when you leave them in the sink they won't grow FUR.
4) OPEN YOUR WINDOWS on occasion. Fresh air WILL NOT KILL YOU. And using "home air fresheners" to freshen the air is just utter balls. You'll only be masking the scent of dirty socks with another scent over top. "Mmm! Dirty socks and LILACS."
5) RESPECT YOUR FRIENDS. Just because they're your friends doesn't mean you shouldn't try to clean up a little when they're coming over. They may like you, but they might not like the STY you live in when they have to sit on your couch and watch clouds of dust fly up when they sit. Oh-- and tell the lazy bastards to bus their OWN tables. Why should you have to clean up THEIR slurpee cups and choco-bar wrappers when they're gone? They've got legs. They can damn well walk them to the garbage and put their OWN trash in.
6) TAKE OUT YOUR GARBAGE REGULARLY. Especially if you live in an apartment. Garbage isn't an art form you collect. As soon as one bag is ready for the chute, take it out. If you live in a house, and the garbage is particularly odoriferous (like old fish or something) take it outside the house, even if it isn't garbage day.
I can't believe I even have to write a rant about this. Every instance in my life that has sparked today's diatribe was perpetrated by ADULTS. You're not KIDS anymore, you unbelievable filthmongers. GROW the hell UP. CLEAN YOUR HOUSE. I don't care about the latest toy, fantastic novel, wondrous costume, or neat character concept for gaming you've come up with if I have to sit there listening to flies buzz around the room.
And you may think it's neat to have six different animals but I don't if there are actually FLEAS crawling on me from their fur while I sit surrounded by no less than two dozen plushies from the overflow from your bedroom (in which you no longer sleep because your "collection" takes up too much space).
God SAKES. Break out the vacuum cleaner, dishwashing soap and a little Windex. Do us ALL a favour. And then someone tell me why alleged grown-ups need a rant like this in the FIRST place.
Posted by Agent M at September 02, 2003 12:05 PMThis will be a little more choppy than my usual writings because I'm at work and in a hurry.
First, some links:
http://www.fridgemagnet.org.uk/kitchen1.shtml
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cat+Piss+Man
http://www.savantmag.com/16/retail16.html
Now then, Is this really a problem of fans? I've certainly seen plenty of fans who are tidy and hygenic, as well as mundanes who are utterly incapable of cleaning. But there is a perception that fans are messier than mundanes. I suspect this has numerous root causes:
1) As a group, we're not well socialized. Whether this is cause or effect I leave as an excercise for the readers. Did reading SF make us outcasts or was SF the only thing for outcasts to do?
If you're not well socialized, you may miss subtle clues like "Did a cow shit in here?". Lets not forget that some fans go into you're-not-the-boss-of-me mode.
"I think deoderants are unnecessary, and are being forced on us by marketting forces."
"That's nice, we're still going to throw you into a washing machine loaded with brillo pads and janiter-in-a-drum."
2) Fans collect books - I don't know why. I personally think it's dumb to keep any book you have no intention of ever reading again. Give the damn things to someone else, or sell them, or donate them to the library. When you're apartment has the dusty smell of an abandoned library, it's time to purge your collection.
Books are also dust magnets, which is it's own problem.
I'm not sure if book clutter attracts other clutter, or if people who collect books are just pack rats - I suspect the latter - but they certainly go hand in hand.
3) Fans are into media - either reading, watching, or browsing. All of these are very sedentary activities. Ergo, many fans are out of shape. If you're out of shape, it's a lot harder to do something like clean up the house.
This can escalate. You stop cooking real meals, the dishes pile up, you order take out every night and the packaging accumulates. Eventually the whole thing becomes overwelming - why clean up if it will literally take days to do it.
This I think explains the reasons, but I should add, it does not excuse it - clean your goddamn house people.
And remember, don't eat bran muffins over your computer - the result is pretty disgusting.
Posted by: Quixote on September 2, 2003 01:16 PMOh yeah, almost forgot.
Was my house that messy? I was in the middle of moving.
:)
Posted by: Quixote on September 2, 2003 01:18 PMNo no-- it's just that, seeing your apartment in its final stages of devastation sort of got me thinking about people whose apartments look that way while they're still LIVING there.
And then the house we went to afterwards-- it just brought back too many memories, and reminded me to do this rant. It's not about anyone SPECIFIC, but rather an accumulation of observations I've made over time.
My post was originally going to be more like your comment-- analytical and querulous-- but then I decided I wanted to put some smack down. :)
M
Posted by: Agent M on September 2, 2003 01:43 PMJeezus H Tapdancing Christ!
What the hell set YOU off? This is because my couch had some cat-fur on it the other day, ain't it? ;)
Goodness me!
I'll admit I could vaccuum a little more often, but we're usually pretty good about defurring the couches. ;)
At least my house isn't the room-mate-rich (rich as in SMELL) environment my townhouse was. GACK! Still can't believe I took MrsACK into that hole... *shudder*. When I think back to that, I'm amazed she agreed to move in with me!
Agents, you'd be amazed. Really. *I* am amazed she still spoke with me!
MrsACK will still not-so-happily regale people with the tale of the three-day-scrubbing she took upon herself after movin' into my skanky ol' abode. However, I will place a goodly percentage of said slobbitude on the head of a former room-mate of mine. (That, and I was too damned nice to say CLEAN UP YER MESS WENCH!) Not all of the responsibility. Just most of it. ;)
I understand that said former roomie has a place to fester in ... and has about 3-4 feet of crap EVERYWHERE. And I MEAN EVERYWHERE. (I saw it once... it was scary.) Despite said ex-room-mates proclimations that the townhouse mess was entirely MY fault. Yah. Right. I agreed once...on paper...but my wolf-dog ate it. ;)
Could I be better at cleanin? Yup. I could. I freely admit it. Have I *gotten* better since kickin' out above-mentioned ex-roomie? Sure have. Otherwise my wife would beat me! :D
*SPOK!!!* YOU WILL DO DISHES SENTIENT!
*I will do dishes!*
No longer do I need the alien-based manipulative powers of AQUA-FORCE to make sure the dishes are done. (It's worth noting that in the long-ago days of living with AgentM and TheBruce, I was most certainly slobbish in nature!)
...sorry... blast from the past there...
Will my life shatter if there are dishes on the counter? Nope. But, that being said, I've grown up past the stage of cultivating various forms of mossy-looking purple fungus. ;)
I actually start the dishwasher (a luxury in itself!) long before EVERY dish & glass in the house is dirty! *smirk* Hell, I still get a thrill outta the fact that I *have* a dishwasher! :D
Now that I've gotten being all defensive outta my system... *grin*, yes, I'd like to say that for the MOST part, I agree with AgentM when it comes to the general-geek-household.
However, I'll also add that some folks simply have different priorities. No, that ain't an excuse. Tis true! Some folks simply put less energy into their surroundings than others.
But I also don't think that such mess-laden pig-sty homes are confined to the geek population. Not by a long shot. Much-cited ex-roomie being a primary example....
Sure, some folks (like my younger self) simply don't "get it". Others simply don't CARE. It's their home. They will live in the life-style they choose. You don't like it? Your problem, not theirs. (Hell, I've been to some geek-residences that should have complimentary gas-masks and disposible hand-towels available at the door...lemme tell ya!)
BUT! In many cases, I think it ALSO related to a lack of self-esteem. (Sci-fi geeks lacking self-esteem? Say it ain't so!) And as such, is a much deeper issue that simply not wanting to scrub the week-old slightly-blueish Kraft Dinner outta the pot.
(Keanu)Whoa.(/Keanu) That was a gross mental picture. Sorry.
Anywho, even if I'm still a tad messy, I'm sure glad I ain't the festerin' geek-slob I used ta be! :D Although MrsACK may disagree. ;)
ACK!
Again I must stress: This rant isn't about any one person or persons specifically. I was just set off by my observations of a bunch of smaller behaviours that REMINDED me of my huge aversion to this behaviour in general.
That being said, keep an eye on your cat's litterboxes, ACK. I'm Watching You. Always Watching.
Posted by: Agent M on September 2, 2003 02:58 PMI'm wondering how many of these "fan-people" (and geeks. Geeks can be bad for it too) had a stay-at-home mother who did the cleaning every day?
I know I can be messy. When I lived at home with my parents, I had certain areas that were my own personal messy-spots. Pieces of paper with usernames, passwords, URLS, etc piled up beside my computer desk, tacked to the wall...books piled up beside my bed, on the desk in my room...etc. Why was I this messy? Well, *I* could find what I needed, so I didn't consider it a mess. And the rest of the house wasn't all that jumbled because Mum would do a bit of cleaning every day, whether it was dishes, dusting, or vacuuming.
When I moved in with the boys, I'd clean up after myself, and to a certain extent, the boys. You see, even though my mother used to clean up after me, she'd programmed me well to take over her cleaning tasks in the event she couldn't perform them. I will admit that Mike isn't as bad as Robin (hee), but I think we all covered for each other in the long run.
Now we're in a small apartment, it's easier. It floored Robin that I got the storage room and office organized in 2 hours of spare time when it had taken us 4 weeks to get around to it in the first place. Dishes pile up at times, but it doesn't take long to wash them. I have a habit of cleaning pop cans off the coffee table. We do vacuuming once a week, and I even dust once in a while. It's a lot easier to clean when you have limited floor space :)
Posted by: Maire on September 2, 2003 03:51 PMOh, I think you picked up after me once maybe, not counting the bathroom. And I distinctly remember one "Mike left that on the floor. Isn't that weird?" conversation.
My mom didn't clean for me--EVER.
My apartment is still savagely clean. On Sunday I scrubbed the bathroom walls because they were streaky and they displeased me. I think that's more a holdover from seven years of Kez than one year of you two--but every little bit helps. :)
I put the litter box outside. That seems to work best for all concerned. I expect contract negotiations to resume come winter.
Posted by: Mike on September 2, 2003 09:45 PMI was wondering what you were going to do about the litter box. You have little to no sense of smell, and Sheba gets pretty stinky at times. I'd hate to have your neighbours talk about you the way we (and the girls across the hall from us) talk about one of the other people on our floor who also has a cat. Sometimes all you can smell, coming off the elevator, is Stinky Kitty and/or Pot. Ugh.
Oh...and I was constantly picking up your red mug and other water bottles because they'd always fall over at inopportune moments, splashing water dangerously close to the power cords :) I admit to not being an absolute angel when it comes to cleaning, but you're human too, mister ;)
Posted by: Maire on September 3, 2003 12:22 PMHere's an idea: Don't be so NFBSKing judgemental or if you plan on being that way how about judging people on the kindness shown to friends, or maybe on their generosity with other human beings, or on a hundred other things. To judge someone based on their house in the equivalent of judging someone on what they are wearing...it's a judgement call based on your biases and not a proper judgement at all. Does a dirty house make someone less generous? Does a messy room make someone a less accomplished human being? Do dirty dishes make someone the equivalent of a harbinger of evil? No more so then someone wearing a Marilyn Manson shirt is a sign that they are the anti-christ...
I admit to having a cluttered house, I also admit to being busy in my life, and to having higher priorities then what someone thinks of my house. Do I clean when people come over for a party or for supper? Yep. Do I clean on the off chance that someone might drop by? Nope. I am generous with my house, we have parties on a regular basis, we let people store stuff in our basement, and we always have room for travelling friends and family, or sometimes drunk friends and family. As long as we have a house none of our friends will be homeless nor will they have to lack for space to crash or to store things. I would prefer to be judged on that then on the state of my house.
Hey, here's a BETTER idea:
Don't be so NFBSKing (whatever the hell THAT means) SENSITIVE.
If you're a pig, you're a fucking pig. No two ways about it. I don't give one good goddamn if you're Mother Goddamn Teresa if your house smells like catpiss and you haven't vacuumed in a month.
I could REALLY care less what good deeds you've done when your house is so far gone that the local media is about to do a story on your upcoming eviction and subsequent institutionalization.
As for judging you, here's a BIG wow for you: The state of your house DOES say a lot about you. The fact that you think you should be judged by your personality instead of something "trivial" like your housekeeping ability says even more: That you do not understand that looking at someone's house IS looking at their personality.
A messy house may mean you're a kind, giving person-- but it also means that you're SO easygoing that you just don't give a damn about yourself. You're SO laid-back that crap can just accumulate around you-- and if you don't see the dangers inherent in that lifestyle, then you are EXACTLY the type of person I would run screaming to avoid.
Offended by my rant? Then grab a bucket of Mr. Clean and start swabbing, slob, because obviously I hit home-- specifically, your craptastically cluttered one.
Quis Custodiet Custodes? It's ME, baby.
Posted by: Agent M on September 7, 2003 06:54 PMWow Quis Custodiet! A little defensive much?
ACK!
Posted by: Agent ACK on September 8, 2003 09:06 AMwow! Reading all those comments is really fantastic! It's raw humour at work and I simply love it!
The descriptions are hilarious. It's easy to read them but difficult to carry out. Sometimes, I hover between the two extremes of clutter and declutter. So, it' s hard.
Take your time to take a look at some information in the field of poker system, casino no download, online casino fun, gambling online, blackjack statistics, roulette casino on net, gamble best, internet casino software, slot machine play, online casino bonus casino on net, online gamble bet, casino gambling 8888, casino game bet, las vegas money, video poker 3d, roulette online stake, slot net, blackjack online system, blackjack betting wagering, poker sites, gambling tips, blackjack table, poker best, casino virtual, casino no download, gambling virtual. .
Posted by: slot on January 29, 2004 10:15 AMso wot if you dont like filth and mess i enjoy the creatures of my house and the bed mites keep me warm!!!!!
Posted by: messy liz on March 23, 2004 04:18 PM