Sure, you know them. The special people.
They're not like the rest of us. Oh no. They're better. They just ARE. You see them everywhere-- restaurants, movie theatres, driving down the street, talking on their cell phones.
They're not common, oh no. They're not part of the milling crowd. They stand out. They shine. They're above it all: they're special.
Thanks to the overwhelming influence of Political Correctness, you may think that "special" referring to a person means someone handicapped, or to whitewash it even further, "differently abled." Oh no. In this instance, the special people are much better-- at everything, it seems-- than you or I.
How are they better? Well, they must be, mustn't they?
Because, while the rest of us were being raised to Wait Our Turn and to Be Polite, the special people were being taught to Always Be First and Pay No Heed To Those Beneath You, Which Is Everyone.
You see these people chatting on their cell phones during a movie. You see, THEIR time and schedules are more important than ours. We need to understand that they need to be on that cell phone. And if we complain to them, why, we get put RIGHT in our place, don't we? Because, obviously, their needs come first.
Sometimes you'll see them in a fast food joint. Not for them, the bussing of tables or picking up after themselves--no, no. You can hear them exclaim: "Why should I do the work that someone else is paid minimum wage to do?" Why indeed? And so they leave their trays of wrappers and debris right there on the table, rather than soil themselves by dumping it into the "Thank You" swing-top bins.
Hey, waiting in line at the bank or the checkout line? Watch for The Special Person who will bypass all of the "little people" because, after all, their needs come first and hey, they'll only BE five minutes, as they explain to the rest of us who wait patiently. See, their time is imperatively valuable-- we can't understand that, ten minutes from now, they have to be saving the world and can't wait in line. Disaster could occur! We, the lesser people, just aren't built to understand.
Once, a friend of mine invited a buddy of his to a movie with us. Afterwards, as we walked to the parking lot, he lit a cigarette and tossed the empty cigarette carton over his shoulder. I picked it up, unable to believe such self-centred carelessness. Having no garbage receptacle handy, I held onto it until we got back to my friend's place, whereupon I put it in the trash.
I was later told by my friend that, seeing my action, his buddy smirked and said: "People like him will always pick up after people like me."
Was I mad? Furious. Because he was right, after all-- when I see something like that, yes, I WILL pick up other people's trash and put it in the garbage. Just the same way I'll plug someone's parking meter if it's expired.
These people, who obviously believe themselves so very special, are the ones that will cut you off in traffic because you are in their way. The ones that will break the rules for their own convenience. And, generally, they do not get caught.
They do not suffer consequences, it seems. In fact, to all appearances the world seems to smile on them for this very reason.
I'm all for bending the rules when they don't work-- you know, break the mold to succeed through innovation and creativity-- but what the hell is with these people who simply ignore common decency and manners? Hell, Ferris Bueller was one of these people but at least he was still NICE. Oh, wait, right-- that was a MOVIE.
And yet, there's no point in confronting or attempting to deal with these people yourself. Because they actually don't understand why you're upset. The sun shines in their world, so what must your problem be?
Arrgh. The bane of my existence. The Special People. Do you have any Special People in your life? Let's hear about them.
Posted by Agent M at September 17, 2003 01:31 PM"Special People"? I deal with them all the frickin' time.
If they've been on hold for an hour because we have a hefty queue, we get told how important they are, and how we should have a direct line for them to call (particularly if they're running a business off a residential account). If they've been on hold for 15 minutes, same thing. If our service call schedule is booked for the next week or two (and service calls are first-come-first-served), they want us to try and bump someone else out of the way because their internet is more important than anyone else's. Never mind the fact that they waited a week before calling us...
There's the aforementioned billing issues...insisting that they pay good money for their service and should be reconnected immediately when they haven't paid a bill for 3 months.
Or how about the people who don't want to phone customer service during business hours (which are extended for those of us with atypical work schedules) and decide to call Internet Tech Support at 3am, wanting to book an installation, or add cable TV services, or get hooked back up after they've been on vacation...and don't like hearing that we don't have access to that sort of function and must call Customer Service in the morning. Why? Because they're special. Important. Whatever.
The list goes on and on.
But, don't forget, that 'special' people very often get the 'special' won-ton even without asking for it!
Posted by: Agent Brucie on September 18, 2003 08:49 AMAnd what the hell's wrong with saying "hey, butthead, pick up your own damn trash"?
I'm gradually becoming more and more resolved to put up with less and less of 'special' people and their 'special' ways. They only live in their blissfully 'special' world because we let them. Well to hell with that. Time for a friggin' reality check.
Posted by: Rook on September 18, 2003 11:27 AMThe special people who all decide to drive 20 under the speed limit and take up all three lanes... three special people driving, oblivious to anything around them, while behind them are 50 cars with ordinary folks who just want to get home from a long day at work. These are the special people the drive me batty...
And I hate to say it Rook, but no matter what we do to change things there will always be 'special' people out there.
Oh, just remembered, a person I associated with long ago was one of those 'special' people. No matter what time we set things up for she would always be an hour late so she could make a grand entrance... argh! I hate that sort of thing.
Posted by: MrsACK on September 18, 2003 01:05 PMDrive twenty under the speed limit? Hah. All I need to do to raise the ire of my fellow motorists is to drive the actual speed limit. I'm not trying to be ignorant, I'd just prefer not to get a ticket I can't afford from one of those damn speeder cameras that the city has all over the place now.
Of course, you wouldn't know that from the number of people who have given me the finger, thrown objects at my moving vehicle from their moving vehicles, the tailgaters, and the one person who actually tried to run me off the road.
It's tough being the only person in Edmonton who drives the speed limit. Hey, wait... Does that make me special?
Posted by: Sean on September 19, 2003 01:29 AMChucky special.
Posted by: Agent ACK on September 19, 2003 10:36 AMMy husband is rubbing off on me. While I would by furious, I would most of the time hold it back (until I exploded in a spurt of flame).
Thanks to my love, I have discovered the great and wonderful use of SHAME. Ah, to find out so late in life that the Christians and the Jews might be onto something!
The idiots, who even though they all get off on the same stop, must be the first person off the bus. To this end, they make sure no one can move back. Better, the people at the front are now crowding and blocking the view of the driver. Nothing says, "I think I'm SUPER SPECIAL" than risking the lives of 50 other people for NO REASON.
Or the perfectly fit people who are too special to give their seats up to the pregnant woman with 2 young children. After all, everyone thinks that a two year old is tall enough to hold the rails on the bus. Or, you know, those stupid old people should know better than to take the bus at rush hour (oh yes, I really have heard this on the bus.) Like old people don't have lives just as important as everyone else. They ought to stay out of our ever-so-important way.
My new strategy of shame means that I, after politely but firmly pushing past the idiots on the bus, find the people who look like they are wishing to throttle the idiots too. I then engage them in a conversation where we rather loudly discuss how RUDE and obviously unmannered and uneducated, etc etc certain people are. The opposite of this is, on the same route, when people are nice, we discuss how lovely it is to see. Sometimes the conversations grow to include numerous people who all talk about how disappointed they are about THOSE PEOPLE.
I pick this up from Sean. Not that I had never used it, but I now feel free to use it whenever I see something that deserves a beating.
For a thrown cigarette package, a "Hey, looks like those cigarettes have killed most of your brain cells," is hugely satisfying. As an ex-smoker, when I did smoke I would carry my butts until I found somewhere to put them fer-the-luv-of-gods.
Because, there are too many of THEM. THEY are going to kill US. As a species I mean. Our collective learning curve is amazing, but THEIR immense lack of responsibility and intelligence is literally poisoning US, and our planet. I have no use, time, or sympathy for them. WE have no time to coddle THEM. It is too important and the stakes are too high.
And FUCK being polite about it. :>
Posted by: BrandiMommyGal on September 19, 2003 03:28 PMBeing Irish-Catholic (okay, part Irish, and not even close to Catholic) and somewhat of an expert on shame and guilt, I find the use of age and mothers to be exemplary in getting the point across. For instance, in the aforementioned cig-pack example:
"Jesus Christ, how fucking old are you 6?! Are you waiting for your mommie to come pick up after you? Do you need help wiping your ass too?"
Posted by: Agent Brucie on September 19, 2003 04:44 PMThese people are just a test from God.
&#!% I hope I pass!!!
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Posted by: slot on January 29, 2004 10:16 AM