IN PRAISE OF MY MOM

Mikeintosh sent me a link today:

What to do if your Mom discovers your blog.

I laughed as I read it; it's pretty funny. I gather that most people, while being "totally open" or "brutally honest" on their blogs, are only that way with strangers-- to have their Mom actually READ their honesty would mortify them.

Long-time readers of this blog will know that that is patently untrue of The M Files: My mom is a regular reader-- and commenter.

Not that I go into any great detail about the seedy underside of my private life, generally involving hot gay cartoon porn or the fetishwear du jour-- but then, it's my opinion that NO blog should.

Oh right. My MOM is reading this. I'd like to take this opportunity to tell you about her.

My mom is one of my bestest friends. Firstborn sons and their mothers; it's some kind of near-mystical connection-- who am I to contravene nature?

Some of you reading this will immediately twitch and shiver at the thought of a grown man having his MOTHER as a FRIEND. "She gave you life, dude, and that's sweet and all, but you moved out, right? You've got a LIFE, right? Of your own, I mean?"

Sure I do. My own independent, pursuing my own interests, beliefs and credo life. And my mom is a part of it.

Something in North America seems to break out in a cold sweat at the thought of a man having anything to do with his mother after he moves out of the house (which better happen as soon after either age 18 or graduation from college as possible). Unless he's Italian, Texan, or paraplegic, that is.

And yeah, I totally agree that it's okay to love your mom as an adult, but hey, move the hell out of her basement if you're 35 and try and have a friend or two that isn't HER, okay?

But my mom-- she's my friend because she's interesting. This is a woman who can go to the store just to buy a loaf of bread and end up on the six o'clock news, drumming in an African drumming band chanting "Jay mon!"

That really happened, by the way.

My mom is diverse. She volunteers for the Calgary International Film Festival every year, she is a member of a book club, listens to (and goes out to clubs to hear) Jazz, and Blues. She loves foreign films (to the point of preferring them over mainstream Hollywood). She loves all kinds of food-- Indian, Thai, Mexican, Spanish...and yet can still make a good ol' down home East Coast Fish Chowder.

My friends to this day still don't know what Fish Kejerrie is, despite the fact that she made it for them out of the blue once.

She came with me to a Pagan festival in Seattle-- in fact, we drove HER car down. And she had a good time! I was terrified that the Freak Factor in my life would send her (or me) into therapy-- but yet before we left, everyone knew my mom.

People remember my mom. She makes an impression. From her willingness to actually participate in what's going on to her ability to stand on the other side of a coffee counter and politely say, "Do you think I could get a HOT cup of coffee?" and stand there until the barista has made her a new cup.

She haggles over deals at flea markets, and isn't backwards about being forward at the Customer Service counter of a department store if she thinks she hasn't received full customer care. But I think that's a UNIVERSAL mom thing. Need something returned to a store? Get your mom to do it.

She's "on the email" now, sending jokes and family photos to all and sundry. She reads my blog, and comments. She's hip enough to be aware of what it is I do, even if she doesn't get all the nuances.

She and I took a correspondence course in Interior Decorating, which may even be finished sometime soon. We watch Trading Spaces and Queer Eye together. In fact, I tape it for her in case she misses it.

She used to dote on me-- to the point where I would have to hold my arm out and say "Back off!" (To which she would reply, "YOU back off. Now come here.") Thankfully, now that I've provided her with her first grandchild, she has transferred much of her doting to him.

My mom is fun. Social. Groovy. Humourous. Adventurous. Versatile. Clever. Charismatic. Spend an hour at her place and come out refreshed and relaxed. Spend an hour with her and be energized and invigorated. (Spend FOUR hours with her...and try to keep up.)

Here's to you, Mom. Geez, you're some pretty, eh?

Posted by Agent M at November 21, 2003 05:08 PM