I have a friend again.
I cannot express the relief, joy, happiness, vindication, and reassurance that this event has engendered in me.
Friendships come and friendships go; we grow out of some of them, we move on to others. A precious few we keep. Still others cling to us like limpet mines. There are varying degrees of friendship, from casual acquaintance to bosom companion and everything in between.
I just regained a bosom companion.
In the comments section of an earlier rant -- OF TIME AND HUMAN NATURE -- I made it pretty clear my feelings on a once-close friend of mine and his life choices. I really didn't expect to hear from this person again, and the lack of closure was causing me agony.
Then, unexpectedly, I hear from the guy to tell me his life has changed. Unfortunately, it's not a happy change, but that's really not for me to discuss here so I'll leave that bit out.
And, as unhappy as I am that he's going through some not-so-nice things in his life, I'm over the fricking MOON that he chose to email me about it and open a dialogue after a year and a half.
Seriously, I didn't think I'd ever hear from him again.
But tonight, we went for coffee; I was tentative at first, not wanting to scare him off-- but it felt, after an iced cappuccino and a couple of hours, like old times. Both of us older and wiser-- and perhaps more vigilant now-- but without recriminations or blame, just an understanding of a bad situation now able to be moved past in favor of a new future.
Reconciliation of a heretofore unsalvageable situation is, to me, vindication of my entire life philosophy. So often I hold in my negative thoughts, trying to ride out the bumps in life's road so that, when I arrive at my destination, I do not feel as if I've had a bad trip. And yes-- often, I get burned for this by either having other people not do the same, spreading THEIR bad trip vibe everywhere and splashing me with it, or finding upon my arrival that my destination was not what it was intended to be and that there was no point in hiding the downside at all-- since there was no possibility of an upside.
But this time, THIS TIME, I was surprised in the best possible way; someone reached out a hand that I had been waiting, hoping for a chance to take, and bingo.
My friend and I are talking again. And patience (with a little bit of restraint, although I'm not possessed of a HUGE amount of it) can actually be rewarded. Friends can reconcile. The sun CAN shine, the check CAN be in the mail, and yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.
In fact, I'm going to go sing zippidy-doo-dah out my butt.
I love you, Mike. You don't suck.
I promised I would, and so I have.
And here it is, my foray into the world of Saturday Morning breakfasts and sweet sugar oblivion: An exposé on Froot Loops.
Why an exposé, you ask? It's a sweet cereal, for god's sake, don't we all crave a little guilty pleasure now and then?
You may not realize just how guilty you should feel over this little pleasure. First, let's look at the marketing campaign we've all grown accustomed to over the years:
"Follow your nose. It always knows."
What other cold cereal, I ask you, markets by sense of smell? Rice Krispies have their snap, crackle and pop -- market by sound -- but smell? Are cereals even SUPPOSED to smell?
| Maybe they should try marketing by taste. Gee, d'you think? Mention is made of the orange, lemon and cherry flavours (remember when those were the ONLY three flavours?) and now of course, berry purple and lime green.
Here's a hint: Maybe if those flavours were actually PRESENT in the cereal there might be a case made for its authenticity. But I challenge anyone out there to close their eyes and put a single Froot Loop in their mouth and try to discern one from the next by taste alone. (Side rant: What IS it with all these foods that say "cherry" or "lemon" flavoured-- I mean, who would actually eat a lemon? And cherry Halls throat lozenges certainly don't taste like a cherry Froot Loop. So could we all first come to a concensus on just exactly what "cherry" is supposed to taste like?) Next is the cereal's mascot. A Toucan named Sam, supposedly of British extraction. What's with that? Arguably, Saturday Morning Cereal culture is a North American thing. Why is some snobby foreigner going to convince us that his cereal is better? Also, now he has three "nephews." Suuuuure they are. We all know he went off "following his nose" on some crazed sugar binge, found himself a hot little Toucan Samantha and got busy. And he was too callous to even NAME the little bastards. They call him "Uncle Toucan" but he just calls them "boys." Probably too full of the ol' Sugar Smack to even remember their names. Of course, he's a bit a Froot Loop himself, if you know what I mean, so it is possible that they really ARE his nephews, and while his parents are praising his siblings for giving them grandchildren, they sit in their British flat bemoaning the lifestyle of their estranged frooty son. And so what exactly IS the message this sends to our sugar-bingeing children? But I digress. Degenerate tropical birds aside, there's a nutrition issue here. Please allow with me to share with you the Mission Statement taken from a box of Froot Loops:  See that? "Dedicated to helping to make your mornings better." Excuse me, Kellogg's, could we get a little MORE vague, please? What exactly is going to make my morning better? An intoxicating whiff of your oh-so-delicately scented cereal? A yummy paroxysm of uniformly-flavoured "O's" on my spoon? Or is it just the happy knowledge that I have bought the cereal of choice for gay Toucan addicts everywhere? Note that it doesn't say "Dedicated to your family's health," or "Dedicated to bringing you a good nutritious breakfast." Wanna know why that is? Have a good look at the ingredients: 
Just look at the first three ingredients: Flour, Sugar, and Coconut Oil. Well, flour's made from wheat, so I guess maybe that counts as part of the Cereals and Grains food group. But sugar and coconut oil? "Brought to you by Kellogg's -- chief among artery-hardening food producers today. Remember, you're never too young to start!" At least they've got natural fruit flavour in there somewhere; my only question is, WHAT fruit exactly is it? Because it sure isn't any Cherry, Lemon or Orange I know.
See that? You've got your Vitamin B12 and your Iron and your Zinc, but most of the actual vitamins and nutrients come from the milk. Good lord, just pretend you're a cat (preferably one who's just swallowed a yappy Toucan) and pour yourself a big bowl of milk-- it'll be just as good for you, minus a couple percentage points of Vitamin B and a sluggish dose of Coconut Oil. You may wonder why I brought this up. Am I mounting a media blitz against Kellogg's, trying to "infect truth" and promote awareness of how this cereal is killing our children spoonful by radioactive spoonful? Hell no. I love Froot Loops. I was just curious how many of us really take a good, hard look at what we've been putting into our bodies along with our Digimon fix every weekend. And now that we know... ...I have a serious craving for a bowl of cereal. Later. Agent M |  |
